Today I started a 40 day Sadhana with the Hindu Goddess Kali. Kali does not have the distractions of the world which leaves her mission focused, powerfully clear and able to cut through whatever it is that needs to be removed so creation can happen! Working with deities is a wonderful way to learn, experience through feeling, cultivate and embody the attributes they offer. As we are, they are aspects of the One. We are not equipped to take in all aspects of the One whilst in form, however, we do have these incredible gifts of energy and embodiment of important aspects needed for different stages of life, to guide us on our way.
Kali is often referred to as the Destroyer, which can invoke a fear response. However, once we see what needs to be deconstructed so positive construction can take place, we realize that she is the path into the darkness, which only represents the parts we hide and then hide from, and also the path out of the darkness, leading us into the light so we can expand and grow. She is fierce in her ability to see and to cut through that which needs to be uncovered for the light to appear and guide us.
Her first piece of advice to me as I surrender my mind to her is. stay soft. Like most, because its a part of our collective feminine wound, for men and women, I tend to shy away from the aspects of me that see clearly and cut directly through the facade to get to what’s really going on. I have quite strong Shiva energy. Shiva is the masculine and because I spend a lot of time in practice and in the witness, Shiva makes his presence known and shows me that beyond all of the drama of life, there is a pure potent energy that sees clearly. However, when I come to communicate this clarity I can feel very self conscious of speaking so directly. It makes perfect sense to me, yet it is not widely embraced to want to look upon what we perceive as shortcomings or dark areas of self readily. I have a strong feeling that is why Kali has been knocking, she will guide me to bring this information into my body, down to the earth, to balance it with the feminine, so I can be who I came here to be and get on with my work.
I am not very comfortable sharing like this but I have been asking for quite sometime how to go about my business and Kali is very clear that this is the step to take right now! So here I am, taking her advice to stay soft as I feel the heat rising in my cheeks because her clarity is astounding, dressed in my most feminine piece of clothing I brought with me on this trip away, wriggling my toes constantly so as not to float away because my mind is open and allowing her presence. Whenever I channel a new energy, I go through a process of integration, so my nervous system gets used to their energy with mine. If I ask they will guide me, colours to work with and wear, crystals that will support me, food, lots of water, and how much time I can be with them, before I need to take a break. Nature is the best equalizer I know and is always where I am guided to by the energies I work with.
I am meant to use this gift of channeling in my work, and of course I have so much fear attached to it. It is the thing that connects me to my souls journey, so of course it is the thing that requires the most healing to get to it! I regularly take one or two steps forward, and then run for the hills, turning my back on me and sprint as fast as I can away from me! So, I’ve been asking for help, support on how to be me and how to ‘do’ me and in came Kali. She has been trying for quite sometime now, and it wasn’t until I was with my dear friend Akshaya yesterday, that we invoked her and now here I am on day one of my fully committed 40 day Sadhana with her. I am totally stepping out of my comfort zone under her guidance!
So, how do I call her in.. ? I move and breathe to create the right conditions in my body so I can sit still and be present. I use Mudra (hand gesture), Mantra, specific to Kali, Om Kalikayai Namaha, I use a visual in my mind of how I have seen her represented in form in pictures and then I sit, with my presence and quiet mind and I listen. Her energy is pure, she is willing to take me straight to where I need to go, to work with this fear I have of being heard. As with all things on this plane of dualities, to do the work I long to do, I need to be seen, heard and out there so people can find me. So here I am, with Kali, sharing this journey with her.
It is important to note here that she will work differently with everyone that calls upon her. She won’t necessarily go straight for the fear and the work needed to overcome it. She may start with preparation so the person is ready for her energy. She knows that people fear her energy and she wants it to be known that it is nothing to fear. She will never take anyone to where they are not ready to go, and she will always guide and support clearly on what is required to journey with her. The fear around the feminine principles are healing in the world and she wants to be a part of this healing so everyone can integrate and grow and expand.
She is able to work deeply, immediately with me, because I’ve had a daily practice for years, I work with Ayurveda Tantra and Yoga in this practice, seeking harmony and balance in body and mind. I have been channeling for many years now too, coming up to 15 years, learning how to use this gift and overcoming many, many fears along the way. A huge part of this journey has been learning to surrender ‘Susie’s’ thinking mind and to relax Susie’s vehicle (body), so I can hear and facilitate whoever is out there wanting to come through.
As people we spend a lot of time crying out for help, and not a lot of time creating the time, space and right conditions to hear the answers to our pleas. because of my practice and my discipline and my years of showing up to this, I feel ripe and ready to journey and trust what Kali guides me to do. She is telling me clearly that it is time to show up for others with the discipline I do for myself. This is my deepest want but my fear gets in the way and blocks me. It is clear this journey is well underway on day one and it is clear that she wants me to share it.
So I will.
This feels like a wonderful thing to do as a new term approaches and as I prepare to launch my private session offerings on my website. I have been working behind the scenes for a very long time now! I am in Maleny with my Father at the moment, a whole four weeks of being in a place I love, getting back to my Queensland roots, thriving in the weather. When I return I will be finalising the next part of my website to launch and starting a nine week term of classes.
I look forward to learning what kali has to offer to all of this and where her guidance takes me and I hope you enjoy the journey too.
With Love Susie xx
Om Kalikayai Namaha